Real Dating Ads From the 1880s. You Couldn’t Make These Up if You Tried

Money, being domesticated, 27 was an old maid, and a weird mechanic fetish

Oct 17, 2022

Benjamin Franklin had a funny story about his first marriage prospect. The girl’s parents openly encouraged then to fool around.

They’d invite him over and put the two of them in the parlor. Alone.

Wink, wink.

In the Victorian era, when parents peeked in the parlor, it wasn’t to make sure the kids were behaving. It was hoping they weren’t. High five if there was groping.

Petting in the parlour led to marriage.

Whew, that’s one daughter provided for.

Meeting someone was the hard part...

If you were young and unmarried, your marriage prospects were the young men and women your family knew. Trust me, no one wanted to meet the “perfectly lovely” girl or boy Auntie Agnes knew. Oh, God!

What was a single to do? Hope, until Tootsie came to the rescue.

In 1896, a new section appeared in one of the top newspapers with a circulation of 350,000. It was called Tootsie’s Matrimonial Agency and allowed singles to place an ad and find their own dates.

You couldn’t make these up if you tried.

1. MONEY WAS A (VERY) BIG DEAL

I was astounded at how blunt the ads were with regard to money. Fyi, an average income for a man was about £200 per year. Women who worked got paid half whatever a man got paid for the same job.

— Men with money weren’t shy to say so…

I guess they figured it would get them the prettiest and most “domesticated” ladies? You’ll see that word a lot. Also, jolly. lol.

— He has money. She needs an irreproachable figure —

An Oxford University man, good looking, scientific and music, with an income of £700 a year, wishes to meet with a graceful woman with a view to matrimony. He is 27 years of age, possesses a charming villa on the river in Berkshire, and is heir to an estate. The lady may be either dark or fair, but must possess an irreproachable figure and large eyes...

One of the right sort, of good family and appearance, dark, height 6 feet, aged 28, income of £700 per annum, house in the country, wishes to correspond with a young lady; must be rather tall and good-looking.

— I don’t even know what a comic singer is. Like, Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer? Just wondering —

A comics singer, well up the ladder of fame, aged 24, dark, height 5ft 11in, would like to correspond with a jolly young lady, must be good looking with a view to matrimony. Money not wanted as advertiser earns from £10 to £20 per week

Hey, this one’s offering bank references… lol

A young gentleman, 22, tall, dark, and considered very handsome and affectionate; educated abroad; having independent means, but no home ties; family Connections in Ireland of the highest respectability; holding a Government situation of £1200 per annum…

— Men without money weren’t shy about it…

Men had no qualms saying they’re looking for a woman who could help them financially. The honesty was refreshing. I think? Some are genuinely looking for a partner to help build a business together. Others seem to want a domesticated sugar mama. I wonder if they found one. Probably.

Young gentleman, aged 28, height 5ft 8in., personal appearance not very objectionable would like to correspond with a young lady about 23 with a view to matrimony; one with money to open business preferred

A well-bred gentleman, age 29, highly connected but without fortune, medium height, dark, considered good looking, good-tempered and affectionate, romantic and thorough good company, musical and well-educated, speaks Spanish, French, and Italian and has travelled a good deal would like to hear from an amiable, affectionate, and pretty girl (not over 21), who wishes for a kind and devoted husband. She must be possessed of some fortune…

A young man, aged 23, tall, 6ft 2in, of commanding appearance and considered good-looking, holding position in a bank, is desirous of corresponding with a good-looking loving and affectionate young lady with means. She must be a good education, musical and domesticated

— No flirts need apply… just loving women… with money —

Tom , age 25, height 5 ft. 11 in, fair with long flowing moustache, considered good looking, is desirous of meeting a young lady between 20 and 23 with private income, tall, fair, and good figure, must be affectionate and amiable (no flirts need apply). Only those that would make a true and loving wife…

A gentlemen, of no occupation, height 6ft 3in, red hair, black eyes, rather thin and always wears a high hat wishes to correspond with a tall and good-looking young lady with a small income …

— Women with money openly said so

Most often, women needed to be provided for. After all, if they did work, they got paid half a man’s salary. So, when a woman had her own wealth or a good income, she was quick to let men know she didn’t need theirs…

— And an orphan, to boot. No mother-in-law for him! —

A young lady aged 18 who will inherit £8,000 on her wedding day, would like to meet with a very nice, handsome gentleman, with a view to matrimony. She is tall, very pretty, of good family, and an orphan…

— No description. Young woman with money. Nuff said —

A young lady, age 19, wishes to correspond with a gentleman, not over 24. She is tall, good-looking (by general accounts) and has an income of £700 per annum. As regards gentleman, he must be pretty good looking…

A young lady, aged 20, is desirous of corresponding with a young gentleman aged about 22 to 24, dark and good looking, and of a good and loving disposition with a view to matrimony. She is very good looking, golden hair, fair complexion, healthy, and strong constitution with £580 a year private income…

A young lady, 18, tall, good figure and nice-looking, grey eyes and brown hair, income £300 a year would like to correspond with a gentleman…

A young lady, aged 20, who will have £600 a year private income when she comes of age, domesticated, cheerful, musical, and of loving disposition…

Cissie, a young Widow (of a doctor), and her sister Lillie, wish to correspond with two gentlemen with view to marriage. Cissie is fair, good figure, and considered pretty, with £400 a year and no incumbrance. Lillie is dark, medium height, and handsome; £100 a year

— Sugar daddies are not new!

Some women just wanted to be an old man’s darling. That’s not new, either.

Dolly wishes to correspond with a gentleman, with a view to matrimony. Would not object to being an old man’s darling instead of a young man’s slave…

Alice, rather tall, fair, grey eyes, light chestnut hair, and brilliant complexion, moves in good society, wishes to correspond with a middle-aged gentleman in trade with a view to marriage, elderly gentleman being so much more amusing than young men…

Wanted by a widow (without encumbrance) a nice clean old man, with a white beard (also without encumbrance). Must have private income of at least £250 per annum…

2. OCCUPATION WAS A BIG DEAL…

Some were oddly specific about their prospective partner’s career choice…

— Also, his choice in hats —

A nice young girl, aged 20, considered by her male friends good-looking, with a very nice figure, wishes to correspond with a gentleman in the medical profession. He must be tall, have a moustache, and always wear a tall hat

Poppie, age 23, brunette, medium height, well-connected, musical, and of a cheerful and loving nature would like to correspond with a young officer holding a good appointment in the merchant service

— Hey guys, they’re domesticated and have money—

Two sisters, Lillian and Maude, desire to correspond with two military gentleman at once, must be tall, fair, and of loving dispositions. Lillian, aged 21 and Maud, 22, both fair and tall, loving, musical and thoroughly domesticated, possessing good incomes…

Will some good-looking genial gentleman, with means, correspond with a young lady, 27, of pleasing manners and sweet temper? She is not pretty, but has a nice merry expression, medium height, slim, good figure, and a general favourite. Would prefer artist or an actor…

— But no poor men in nice clothes… lol —

A young girl wishes to meet with a nice, steady, quiet, respectable young man. She is not in want of a poor “dressed-up” clerk but much prefers a “True British Workman.”

— What’s with the mechanic fetish?

Wouldn’t that just be dirtier laundry? I mean, since the women are supposed to be domesticated and jolly about it.

The columns were filled with women looking for mechanics. So many. SO, SO many! Is there something no one told me about mechanics? And why do they specify “respectable” mechanic…are there unrespectable mechanics? lol

Two friends, Lena and Polly, would like to correspond with two respectable mechanics…

Nellie, aged 21, would like to correspond with a respectable mechanic…

Snowdrop, age 21, fair, not very tall, thoroughly domesticated would like to correspond with a respectable mechanic or Tradesman…

Jennie, aged 24, would like to correspond with a respectable mechanic…

3. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THESE UP IF YOU TRIED

Fiction has nothing on reality. People are weird. People have always been weird. People are always going to be weird. That’s all I can say. Yikes…

— He would prefer a domestic servant —

A young man in the Royal Marine artillery at Portsmouth, age 21, height 5 foot 7 1/2 in, wishes to correspond with the young girl about the same age; no objection to looks so much as a loving heart. Advertiser is a Christian and a total abstainer; would prefer a domestic servant…

— She just wants her way —

Cis, cheeky, good figure, fair, aged 22, wishes to correspond with a dark gentleman, who must be jolly, good tempered and willing to let Cis have her own way.

— Rich man wants plump girl —

A tall gentleman, age 23, with dark hair and eyes, who’s friends consider him handsome, accomplished and elegant, possessing a modest competence in his own right, and at present occupying a lucrative position on a tea estate in a lovely and healthy part of Assam, is anxious to meet with an eligible partner for the journey of life, The lady must be fair, amiable, and educated. Plumpness essential

— American girl will sacrifice on the altar of hymen (LMAO) but she does expect money in return —

An American Girl, aged 22, tall, dark, good figure, “pleasant to look upon,” and well educated desired to offer herself as a sacrifice upon the altar of hymen. Applicants must have for their motto “Money No Object” as the advertiser has only a small income and wishes to increase it…

— He wants the ladies to know he has big feet . Wink, wink—

A young gentleman (clerk) height 6 ft 6 in, green eyes, ruby-coloured hair, and rather thin (his only default is that he is blessed with a rather large feet) wishes to correspond with a middle-aged widow …

—Choices! Poor but pretty, or ugly with money? —

Two young ladies (cousins) Eleanor and Lindsay, desire to correspond with two gentleman, with a view to matrimony. Eleanor, aged 22, medium height, brown hair, brown eyes; considered good looking, musical and affectionate. Lindsay, aged 20, short, dark, not considered good-looking; possessed of good private income…

— He’s not “exactly” evil looking —

Would any pretty and attractive young lady care to correspond with a gentleman, aged 24, tall, well-educated, musical and not exactly evil looking?

— Looking for a man with good teeth —

A young lady, aged 18, rather dark, tall, genteel, good figure, not bad-looking, thoroughly domesticated, amiable, good tempered, and, in fact, all that man can wish, would like to correspond with a tall, handsome dark gentleman with a view to matrimony; must have good teeth

— Rich, good looking… and his mother is DEAD. Well, I guess she’ll have no mother in law issues to deal with. (lol) —

The Advertiser, who is a young man of 26, good looking, height 5ft 9in, very dark, mother dead, salary £350 per annum…

— The “jolliest little girl” you’ll ever meet —

A young lady, 18, rather tall, slender, light brown hair, hazel eyes, good features and figure, of a lovable disposition, described amongst friends as being “the jolliest little girl I know,” thoroughly domesticated…

— Well, that’s a weird way of addressing his disability, not in his description, but as a feature of hers —

A gentleman, age 23, height 5ft 9in, rather dark, considered good-looking, of respectable connections, loving and kind, with rising position, would like to exchange confidences with a good-looking lady, age about 20, height 5ft 6in, or thereabouts, of respectable connections, thoroughly domesticated and musical, with a view to matrimony, one who would have no objection to a gentleman who has lost an arm…

— Oh please… anyone will do —

Young lady, aged 27, rather fair, with a loving disposition, wishes to correspond with a gentleman at once, with a view to matrimony, between 30 and 80; single, widower or invalid; looks no object.

— Just please, don’t be ugly —

May, aged 20, would like to correspond with a young man, with a view to matrimony. Advertiser is of fair complexion, very good looking, height 5 feet, four inches, jolly, and good tempered. The must man must be above the height of May, and not positively ugly, otherwise looks no object.

— She’ll take anyone… except milksops or cork legs —

Sweetheart, aged 20, medium height, dark brown hair, blue eyes, good tempered, loving disposition, would like to correspond with gentleman, aged 21–40, either dark or fair, any height from 5 feet 8 inches to 6 feet , 1 1/2 inch; milksops, cork legs and beards objected to…

— Oh God, save me from bachelor life —

Gentleman, aged 29, but who looks younger, of good appearance, fair, small brown moustache, income about £200 per annum wishes to meet with a lady of some pretensions to good looks and some little money, that he may marry at once being heartily sick of his bachelor life.

— Old maid at 27 —

Will any gentleman take pity on a poor old maid? She is tall and of good appearance, very amiable and domesticated, well educated and very loving; aged 27. Would prefer some one between the ages of 40 and 50.

One day, it all ended…

The column ran in the paper for five years. It was unceremoniously dropped from the paper in July 1891 without reason or warning. The last issue had contained information about how to submit an ad. And then poof — gone.

I’m not sure if that was a good or bad thing.