Wow. At a loss for words. I've known of Virginia Wolff forever...but I had no idea about the longtime abuse at the hands of her 'brother'. Vaguely knew about the asylums but pulling teeth? No books? WTF? And publishing Freud - again, wow. What a tale. That she could write as eloquently as she did after such heinous childhood circumstances is nothing short of miraculous. Wow.
Right, Jen? Like, how did so many of us absolutely know she was mentally ill, but not why? I could have made the story twice the length and included one other half sister. Her father had a child from a first marriage, too. She was assaulted for years and sent away to an asylum before Virginia was old enough to know her. The only woman who made it out of that family alive was Vanessa. And yet what history teaches us is that poor Virginia was crazy as a loon. Just, wow.
The older and more knowledgable I get, the more I see that my millennial daughter is dead on right to be angered by the patriarchy. I used to think she was over reacting a bit. NOW I don't!
I hear that a lot, and I understand that a lot of younger people are angry at the patriarchy. The problem I see is that they talk about it like it's an entity. THE patriarchy. You know? Except, there's no such entity. There's no person or institution to be mad at. It's like being mad at a straw man or a ghost. It's impotent anger.
For what it's worth, I used to be mad at "the patriarchy" too. Until I asked myself WHAT it is I'm really mad about. And what it comes down to is inequality. I mean, that's the basis of the "patriarchy" right? It's that everyone does not have equal worth. White men first, then everyone else behind that. And whether white women or colored men come next in the pecking order depends who you ask.
The real issue, though, is the perception that not all people have equal worth. So the real thing that angers me is inequality. The patriarchy is just a word we can argue about and never solve anything.
I listen to a British produced podcast which focuses on history. One of the men on a team of two greatly dislikes the writings of Virginia Woolfe and a few times a year he points it out. My rage continues to expand.
Every time I get a message with your name on it I can hear the DJ on mental radio saying "And the hits just keep on coming!" Thanks Linda for another brilliant gem.
Oh, Linda, I can't thank you enough for shining a bright light on the truth about how women have been subjugated over the centuries. I'm compelled to read every one of your posts even though they frequently raise my blood pressure. The saddest thing about Virginia's story is that it's not unique, and it's still going on.
I just finished reading Flight of the Sparrow by Amy Belding Brown, about the Puritans of the Massachusetts Bay Colony and the rigid rules they had for women. It's a novel, but the characters were real people. I think you would like it.
Oh synchronicity, I just finished reading Flight of the Sparrow a couple of weeks ago. The author's notes at the back were just as fascinating as the book itself. The one point that really stood out to me was the author saying she had to really dig in to find anything likeable about the women. The rules they had to live under made them so fearful and judgmental it was hard to find the humanity of them. I am so grateful I was not born in that era. I would have been hanged as a witch for sure. lol
I am a new subscriber and this is the first piece of yours I have read (although I used to follow you on Medium...) I am blown away. Tragic. Sad. Interesting. Thank you.
The reason the ridiculous belief that women fantasize about rape exists is because Freud couldn't accept that the "respectable" men he knew were committing these assaults on their family members.
Thank you for naming it. For calling it what it is. For assigning the blame correctly. Virginia is my greatest inspiration for all reasons great and small, not the least of which is her resilience. The suffering does not stop just because the abuse stops. This should be the defining factor in how to hold accountable the perpetrators. Thank you for this honest work.
Thank you so much for drawing attention to the issue of incest abuse, especially by siblings, and for using the word! As a survivor and organizer in the Incest AWAREness Movement, pieces like these are so supportive of our work.
I don't understand why we don't routinely castrate child sex offenders and repeat sex offenders. It reduces recidivism and might have a deterrent effect. It doesn't seem like we're serious if we don't do that.
Of course George and Gerald Duckworth went on to be highly successful, and ‘respected’, one establishing a publishing house, while their sisters (and who knows how many others they abused) suffered, were abused and gaslit by the medical profession in Virginia’s case and as you say only Vanessa somehow survived. Nothing has changed and now a convicted abuser is president of America.
Wow. At a loss for words. I've known of Virginia Wolff forever...but I had no idea about the longtime abuse at the hands of her 'brother'. Vaguely knew about the asylums but pulling teeth? No books? WTF? And publishing Freud - again, wow. What a tale. That she could write as eloquently as she did after such heinous childhood circumstances is nothing short of miraculous. Wow.
Right, Jen? Like, how did so many of us absolutely know she was mentally ill, but not why? I could have made the story twice the length and included one other half sister. Her father had a child from a first marriage, too. She was assaulted for years and sent away to an asylum before Virginia was old enough to know her. The only woman who made it out of that family alive was Vanessa. And yet what history teaches us is that poor Virginia was crazy as a loon. Just, wow.
The older and more knowledgable I get, the more I see that my millennial daughter is dead on right to be angered by the patriarchy. I used to think she was over reacting a bit. NOW I don't!
I hear that a lot, and I understand that a lot of younger people are angry at the patriarchy. The problem I see is that they talk about it like it's an entity. THE patriarchy. You know? Except, there's no such entity. There's no person or institution to be mad at. It's like being mad at a straw man or a ghost. It's impotent anger.
For what it's worth, I used to be mad at "the patriarchy" too. Until I asked myself WHAT it is I'm really mad about. And what it comes down to is inequality. I mean, that's the basis of the "patriarchy" right? It's that everyone does not have equal worth. White men first, then everyone else behind that. And whether white women or colored men come next in the pecking order depends who you ask.
The real issue, though, is the perception that not all people have equal worth. So the real thing that angers me is inequality. The patriarchy is just a word we can argue about and never solve anything.
What do I do with the rage I feel.
I know, right? It's why I write. :)
I listen to a British produced podcast which focuses on history. One of the men on a team of two greatly dislikes the writings of Virginia Woolfe and a few times a year he points it out. My rage continues to expand.
Every time I get a message with your name on it I can hear the DJ on mental radio saying "And the hits just keep on coming!" Thanks Linda for another brilliant gem.
lol Roy, I'm not sure if that's a good thing but I hope so.
Oh, Linda, I can't thank you enough for shining a bright light on the truth about how women have been subjugated over the centuries. I'm compelled to read every one of your posts even though they frequently raise my blood pressure. The saddest thing about Virginia's story is that it's not unique, and it's still going on.
I just finished reading Flight of the Sparrow by Amy Belding Brown, about the Puritans of the Massachusetts Bay Colony and the rigid rules they had for women. It's a novel, but the characters were real people. I think you would like it.
Oh synchronicity, I just finished reading Flight of the Sparrow a couple of weeks ago. The author's notes at the back were just as fascinating as the book itself. The one point that really stood out to me was the author saying she had to really dig in to find anything likeable about the women. The rules they had to live under made them so fearful and judgmental it was hard to find the humanity of them. I am so grateful I was not born in that era. I would have been hanged as a witch for sure. lol
I am a new subscriber and this is the first piece of yours I have read (although I used to follow you on Medium...) I am blown away. Tragic. Sad. Interesting. Thank you.
Thanks, Alice. I take that to mean you're not on Medium anymore? Glad you found me here and thank you. :)
The reason the ridiculous belief that women fantasize about rape exists is because Freud couldn't accept that the "respectable" men he knew were committing these assaults on their family members.
Her life was sad, but her work endures, and that is how she won in the end.
Yes, indeed. I can't help but wonder what might have been the outcome had she not been abused.
Thank you for naming it. For calling it what it is. For assigning the blame correctly. Virginia is my greatest inspiration for all reasons great and small, not the least of which is her resilience. The suffering does not stop just because the abuse stops. This should be the defining factor in how to hold accountable the perpetrators. Thank you for this honest work.
Survey says likely; 1 in 3 girls are abused by 18, so it is not far-fetched
This is so so sad. Freud was a nutter.
Wow. I've known about her mental illness, it's mentioned everywhere when she's concerned, I never knew about childhood sexual assault.
Thank you so much for drawing attention to the issue of incest abuse, especially by siblings, and for using the word! As a survivor and organizer in the Incest AWAREness Movement, pieces like these are so supportive of our work.
I don't understand why we don't routinely castrate child sex offenders and repeat sex offenders. It reduces recidivism and might have a deterrent effect. It doesn't seem like we're serious if we don't do that.
Yours is a strong voice: distinct, authoritative. I'm impressed.
Of course George and Gerald Duckworth went on to be highly successful, and ‘respected’, one establishing a publishing house, while their sisters (and who knows how many others they abused) suffered, were abused and gaslit by the medical profession in Virginia’s case and as you say only Vanessa somehow survived. Nothing has changed and now a convicted abuser is president of America.
Always. 😠